I am no m°re

Henna BBQ

2011-07-04T10:09:00.002-06:00

So I did this gig in the middle of Missouri yesterday. I really had fun. It was totally NOT like deliverance! :P

Everyone were really nice, good people.

Here are some pics:

New sketch

2011-06-24T09:52:00.002-06:00

Sooooo....

It has been a rocky last 2 months, I'll tell ya all about it in another post. I'm still sketching with my drawing group and I love it. It's more adult but without the pretense.

Here's my last, enjoy, and as always, please comment and/or 'like'.

oil pastels on grey paper- 24 by 36

[caption id="attachment_898" align="alignleft" width="590" caption="me, working."][/caption]

Ouch, my back!

2011-05-19T07:23:00.003-06:00

My back has been hurting me for the longest time but now, it's really getting worse. Sometimes the pain is paralyzing!

Here's a photo of my lower back, taken one and a half year ago. I suspect it's much worse now...

[caption id="attachment_881" align="alignleft" width="400" caption="My lower back"][/caption]

Morning has broken...

2011-04-29T06:48:00.000-06:00

[caption id="attachment_851" align="alignleft" width="600" caption="Morning has broken"][/caption]

My latest...

2011-04-15T21:37:00.000-06:00

So I have to put up a painting tomorrow for our senior thesis. I just finished this one, since my 3 other pieces will be at Koken for the Renaissance show...

Voila!

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Damn it! my comments are gone!!! :((

Painting is hard...

2011-04-02T07:56:00.000-06:00

So I whipped out my paints last night at a painting session and did this. It was a lot of fun but I think I'm still searching for my own way of making marks. A lot of my strokes were tentative. I just need to do more and more and more :))

By the way, this was done in oils...

Just a dreamer...

2011-04-01T09:10:00.000-06:00

I need a hot, passionate woman that can't stand to be away from me. I need a woman that would get wet just thinking about me, one that would...Aah! Nevermind. Who am I kidding...I'm just a dreamer... A passionate dreamer lost in a world of gain, betrayal and secrets....

I'm a strong dreamer tho... I shall conjure her from wherever she is, and she will come...my passionate lover...

work...no, fun.

2011-04-01T07:56:00.000-06:00

What I did last night. I was doing some exploration. :))

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The sweetness of the infinite...

2011-03-30T08:14:00.000-06:00

I dive within myself

and dissolve into the infinite, like honey in hot tea.

Aah, to lose oneself into the ocean of bliss.

To become one again, like the raindrop falling into the ocean...

I am home again, love me, caress me, make love to me

I am yours.

what happened...

2011-03-29T07:46:00.000-06:00

Ok some of you have asked what happened, why did we break up. Not to beat a dead horse, but here's the story.

3 things broke the engagement and they all have to do with trust issues...

I took her in, with her baby in my apartment. I took the metro so she could have the car to go to work.

I took her in my heart fully.

Note that this is only the bad side of our relationship. We had some beautiful and very intimate moments.

I had 2 piece in a show called 'Naughti Gras'. We both were suppose to go but at the last minute I decided not to go... It was a 2 day event.

She asked if she could go, I said sure; And I was ok with that. I would stay home and watch Bonnie. She would use my car.

One thing troubled me however, her ex, whom she had told me about was going to be there. She told me that this guy has/had a strong influence on her and that's why she wasn't speaking to him anymore. She was staying away.

As she's getting dressed, I can feel her excitement and joy. A joy that she didn't have staying home. She got dressed and wore some very sexy undies and fishnet stocking. I have to pause here to tell you that I had spent the whole day cleaning and setting up our bedroom, dinning room, etc.. because Michele had moved out. I wanted us to enjoy the place to ourselves for the first time.

Any way, as she's getting dressed, I'm starting to feel annoyed, jealous and left out. I share this feeling with her but she really wants to go.

She goes, after 1 1/2 hour, I send her a text to tell her that I'm freaking out and that I don't think I can handle her being there with her ex and alcohol, etc... I'd like her to come home.

She replies: I just got a beer and my friend's band is about to start playing.

I tell her: I guess you've made your choice...

She doesn't reply

2 hours later I say: you probably think that I'm not serious about this.

she doesn't reply

at 12:30 am I send her a final text saying that is was over, we're done.

at that moment she replies: I'm on my way.

She comes home, we argue. I told her how dare she blew me off like that and that I want her out. We talk things, she apologized for being so blowing me off. We decided to give it one more chance.

The next day, all day long, she keeps getting these texts. I ask her who they're from. They're from her ex. A dozen texts later, he text her: why don't you come over to my place, you can bring Bonnie. So I asked her what her reply was, she said: I don't have a car!?!

I was furious! Her reply was I don't have a car?!?!? so I tell her if she knows how this looks?

As we're arguing about that, he texts again. I say: Is that him again? she says yes, I say: let me see and I sit next to her and she starts to pull the phone towards her so that I can't see the screen. This is where I lost it and I yanked the phone out of her hands and when I saw myself doing that, I knew it was over. I gave her the phone back and I told her to leave.

She called her parents to come pick her up and packed while crying. She said she was sorry, and that it's only at that moment that she sees everything I had done for her.

So now, I'm single again. We talked after that, I asked her if she was with her ex, she said no and that she never wants to see him again.

Then she blocked me as a friend on facebook but kept all the nice photos I tagged in.

She tried to come back but I told her no. I can no longer trust her and that there needs to be consequences to her actions. That was half the truth. I really started enjoying living here by myself.

She was worried about her cat, she would have to put him in a shelter. I told her to leave him. I'll take care of him until she has her own place.

So now I have 3 cats, all males :)

That's pretty much it. I really love her, but she's so young. I even told her that I understand her behavior. I was young and selfish as well.

New work

2011-03-28T21:35:00.000-06:00

So I just got back from Koken. We had a group drawing / painting session. I did some exploration with Sumi ink on Yupo paper. It's such a strange texture but does some really interesting things. I still had time to so a pastel painting of the model. I also gave her one of the drawings.

Let me know what you think, and please click a few starts if you like it.

[gallery orderby="ID"]

New Show coming up...fast

2011-03-28T13:26:00.000-06:00

So I'm part of a show that's coming up fast. The submission deadline is this Friday. I have to submit 3 large paintings, 3 by 4 feet and I've just started today! hahaha.

Leave it to me to work under pressure.

Should I show the progress of the work or just show the final product?

Heavy heart...

2011-03-27T12:49:00.000-06:00

I woke up with a heavy heart today.

I tried to fight the tears but then gave up and cried and cried all day.

I just don't understand why it hurts so, or maybe it's just me, letting go...

I felt this grief coming, like a giant wave that swept me away, from my stable ground.

There's nothing I could do, nothing to hold on to.

This wave tumbled me around and around,

and now I feel lost, like a drift wood on a sea shore.

Venus Envy?

2011-03-26T21:04:00.000-06:00

So I went to Venus Envy tonight at Mad Art Gallery. I had fun looking at everyone that was there. I even saw a few friends I had not seen in a while. It was also nice to get out of the house. I was starting to feel trapped with this snow...

I took some photos of some of the performers tonight. One girl, Ellen the fellon, really touched my heart when she sang. Her boyfriend was killed in a hit and run a few weeks ago. She was in the car with him as she told him she loved him. That was the last thing she said. Most of her songs were about that experience.

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Tuscany here we go

2011-03-25T21:39:00.000-06:00

So a friend of mine commissioned me to do a painting of a Tuscan landscape sunset with red flowers.

It's done and will be delivered tomorrow, yay!

Here it is, what do you think? I did it for $200. Not bad heh? So, who's next??? lol

[caption id="attachment_766" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Tuscan landscape with red flowers"][/caption]

Cute girl...

2011-03-25T21:24:00.000-06:00

So I went to this drawing meeting club thingy at Coffee Cartel and it was fun. I love it when people have different opinions and are not afraid to share them. Like the French say If we all think alike, no one"s thinking!

But, I did notice on the corner of my eye this really cute girl. She works there. I think I have a thing for nerdy girls... I think they're hot.

Anyway, here she is. Has any of you seen this show called "Dead Like Me"? She reminds me of the weird little sister. hehehe.

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More henna today...

2011-03-25T14:49:00.000-06:00

So I did a little more henna today at MoKaBes coffee across the park.

Let me know what you think...At least rate it.

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More henna today at MoKaBes

2011-03-25T14:20:00.000-06:00

Letme know what u think...

New henna

2011-03-25T10:23:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I just did some henna. Here it is...

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I've been such a fool...

2011-03-25T08:22:00.000-06:00

I've been such a fool. My ex started texting me again. I don't know why... She asked me if I knew how to remove cat pee from clothes, I said I did not. She claims my cats peed on her clothes. Then she asked if I still thought she was a horrible cunt and I replied that I didn't, that I was better now... Then she says that Karma is a bitch. I thought she meant that something would happen to me so I reversed the situation and said: yeah? how does it feel. And that's when she tells me that she started dating this guy but he has herpes...

I told her that I was sorry and that I wouldn't mess with that crap. So from then on, she asked if we could be friends again but I doubt we ever were... I said ok. We started talking about the fact that she wants an honest, caring, open, giving, trustworthy relationship...I asked: since when? That's what we had and she blew it. I told her that she should really think about the fact that it's one thing to want something and another to be able to live up to it. She obviously couldn't.

At this point she didn't want to talk about the past anymore, so I asked her about her new 'friend', and she told me. You see, I'm shaking as I'm writing this now... She told me all the details of their dates and how she's concern about sex because she's not going to have sex with him ( she says) and then she asked me for my opinion. I told her that she should be upfront with him about the no sex thing and if he's alright with that then great other wise she's just leading him on. If she doesn't do that, she ends up taking the risk of finding herself in a situation where she's horny and available and might do something that she's regret the rest of her life.

You see, I tried to be a friend for her but reading about her new life is too painful for me. So last night I send her a long text, here it it:

Dearest Allison, there's something I must confess. I can't be your friend. You see, I'm so terribly still in love with you and I miss you so much. I really wanted to be there for you as a friend but it sickens me to know that you're with someone else. I was shaking when your were telling me about him, I wanted to vomit. My heart breaks when I see how quickly you replaced me. I'm soooo sorry but I really can't do it. It's too painful and destructive. I hope you understand that it's not out of of meanness that I say this, it's out of sadness and pain. I love love love love you sooooooo much my dearest angel fairy and I will miss you sooooo much I can't bare it. My heart goes to you and Bonnie (her daughter). I sincerely wish you the best...Your love, always...jeanjoel

Breakthrough?

2011-03-22T12:15:00.000-06:00

Wow, so today I understood something really cool. I realize now why I get so worked up about things people do, including girlfriends or exes. It's because I always think that I would not have done this or that, this way! That is such a ridiculous notion because it wasn't who did it and the moment is past. All I need to do is react or not to what is and not what should have been...

I feel so good...

2011-03-21T20:36:00.000-06:00

I don't know why. Maybe it's because Spring is finally here. I also feel like I'm at a crossroad, come to think of it, aren't we always at a crossroad? lol.

I'm meeting a lot of people and it's great to be in different circles. I can't believe how much I was limiting myself.

I also want to go to Guadeloupe this Summer but I don't know if I'll have the money. If I keep selling art tho, I'll be able to buy my ticket. Yay! hehehe.

I went to this party last night and I have a lot of fun...

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School...

2011-03-21T16:40:00.000-06:00

So, how is it possible that I'm getting more by doing my own thing than what get from school? Maybe I've been using school as a crutch and now I'm ready to fly on my own?

I think I put too much hope and expectation on people and things...

Relationship...

2011-03-20T16:50:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm feeling a lot better about the break up today. I think I may have forgiven her. I expected so much from her and she is so young. I think I was as selfish as she was, in different ways. I also didn't want to let go of my anger because I have a tendency to forgive too quickly and easily, and when I do, I do foolish things as get back together.... :P

It's perfect timing since today is the first day of Spring. I took my bike out for a ride in the park and that was awesome. I hung out at Mockabes coffee house across the park where I met a couple of people and we just talked for a few hours.

Tonight I'm going to do henna at a 'Purim' celebration. I'll probably post some photos...

I think I'll spend a little more time here rather than spend it on Facebook.

How interesting it is that I said: "I'll spend more time here..." I guess the "I" is my attention? I think therefore I am?

The moon

2011-03-19T08:40:00.000-06:00

I dreamed of the moon last night. She was going down into the urban skyline. It was so beautiful. As she descended into oblivion, she became larger with tones of blue, orange and purple. As she dissolved into the skyscraper, I felt as if she was dissolving into me.
Such a beautiful moon...

Classical or Expressionist

2011-03-19T08:24:00.000-06:00

I've been working on my self portrait for class and I HATE it. I can't stand this tedious glazing and glazing and glazing. The process is just tooooooo slow for me.
I guess I'm more of an expressionist type of guy. I like my brush strokes to show.This is who I am, my brush strokes, not my subject.
Anyway...my ex sent me a text photo of her baby last night. I swear she's doing this on purpose! So I sent her back a text/photo of my new bedroom :)
I think the last thing I text her was: I curse the day I met you! hahaha.

So, I'm feeling much better now...

2011-03-17T15:42:00.000-06:00

So, I still have some thoughts of anger about my ex but for the most part I'm really happy. It's a beautiful day, warm and sunny.

I've been working on this self portrait project for school. It's giving me a hard time. This glazing is....slow. : ) I don't think I have that kind of patience. lol.

Here's the piece:

So, I've been drawing again...

2011-03-16T16:43:00.000-06:00

I've been going to these drawing/painting groups and for the most part, I really like it.

Here are two drawings I did. They are made with dry pastels. I just bought some oil pastels today, I've never used them. I can't wait to see what I do with them...

Ok, so I added a couple more photos of some sketches I did last night...

[gallery orderby="ID"]

some of these were done in 20 minutes, some in 10.

Some prints...

2011-03-15T22:58:00.000-06:00

I forgot to post some of the prints I did in my printmaking class last semester...

Enjoy!

[gallery orderby="ID"]

Wow, it's been a while...

2011-03-15T22:32:00.000-06:00

So...to make a long story short, I was engaged and now I'm not. : )
I was in love, truly, but as it turns out, she's a great manipulator and a very selfish person...Oh well, enough about that.

I'm starting to get somewhere with my art. I'm still in school, at UMSL, and plan on being there for at least another semester. I realized something there. I need to market my SELF not so much my WORK. I have an interesting background and story. I've modified my work so that it may reflect that.

This is a photo of the style I'm doing now. It's not a great photo but you'll get the picture...get it? get the picture? lol, ok, ok, bad joke...

I think this will be a great year for me :P

On race...

2010-10-30T16:38:00.000-06:00

Isn't it interesting that if you have one drop of black blood (whatever that means) in ya, you are no longer considered white; and if you are 75% white, you a considered black?
Hehehe, it's amazing, almost as if the world is divided in whites and non-whites.

Dazed and confused

2010-09-26T09:49:00.000-06:00

So I'm supposed to come up with a coherent body of work for school and future galleries. It's turning out to be more difficult than I thought, not because I don't have any ideas but because I have too many. The worst part is that the more I explore the more ideas I get. It's like I've just opened Pandora's box. Maybe it's time I tell Pandora to close her legs. I think I've had enough of her box.
Hum...Pandora. I can see a red head full bush with an ornate sun dress...You SEE! Here I go again. My imagination just doesn't stop. It goes so fast I hardly have the time to put anything down. By the time I start I'm already somewhere else in my mind. My mind moves like a butterfly. I can't be bothered to do any of this menial work, I just wanna fly and zig zag through the beautiful flowers of this vast world.

Latest henna

2010-08-06T17:40:00.000-06:00

Ok, so here's my latest henna. What do you think?

Soon school starts...

2010-08-06T17:27:00.000-06:00

That's a mouthful to say.

Hum, so I haven't written anything here lately...Duh! School starts soon and I can't wait. This will be a great school year, I can feel it. Next project will be Graduate school. I'm not sure where I'll go. I guess it depends where I get the most money.

I feel good. I don't know why and I guess it doesn't matter. I just feel good. It feels great to be alive, to have this body and to experience this universe. I wish I could live forever but I guess the fact that I won't makes life so precious.

The wheels of life keep turning...I belong to you.

Mmmm...mantra is calling...the great silence is the place...

2010-05-26T19:37:00.000-06:00

I really get into this...

my latest

2010-04-17T05:46:00.000-06:00

[caption id="attachment_658" align="alignleft" width="500" caption=""Crazy Cat" $400 or best offer! :)"][/caption]

The piece I had on the 'Parental Advisory' show.

2010-04-09T20:42:00.000-06:00

[caption id="attachment_652" align="alignleft" width="500" caption="my work"][gallery orderby="ID"]

[/caption]

Some drawings I did in school...

2010-04-07T08:38:00.000-06:00

More to come later...

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Ok, more wax resist stuff

2010-02-02T17:42:00.000-06:00

So I have a couple more pics for you guys.

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New work at school

2010-01-26T19:47:00.000-06:00

So I had my first Special Problems in Drawings class today. I really like it. The teacher is James Wu.

We worked with a wax resist technique using colored ink on paper. It was a great experience. I did 2 and I can't wait to do more Thursday.

I like the fish better, it was my second but the first one is cool too! :))

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It's interesting how no one gives a shit...

2010-01-24T00:07:00.000-06:00

Ok, so where were we?

2010-01-22T19:40:00.001-06:00

I'm so pissed and disappointed that my work, my charcoal drawings weren't even accepted in the juried show!!! WTF? I'm so tempted to see what has but I'm afraid that I will seriously lose my temper hahaha.

Anyway, moving right along. I started school at UMSL Tuesday. So far so good. I like the teachers there. UMSL has a lot more space than Fontbonne. Even the undergraduates have studio spaces! Niiiiiiice.

I'm still waiting for my loan money so that I can buy the materials for the classes.

Meanwhile I've been doing some henna.

Here are some shots:

[gallery orderby="ID"]

School

2010-01-06T22:58:00.001-06:00

So it turns out UMSL IS way cheaper than Fontbonne. So I'm going to UMSL :))

I'm starting school on the 19th. I'm really excited. It'll be a new experience and I'll be working toward a goal probably for the first time in my life. It's really weird to have a plan. I have my student ID, all financial is filled out, my classes registered, I'm all set!!!

New year

2010-01-03T23:05:00.001-06:00

Ok so I haven't posted much lately. I've been sick with some kind of flu. This one is a little more tenacious than the ones I've had before. I don't take medication so it's taking my body a little while longer to go through the process but I can feel I'm getting better.

So new years...xmas...I didn't do anything really. I just focussed on resting, thinking....thinking about the life I'm leaving behind. I can feel I am leaving a life behind and starting a new one except that there are elements from my past that have resurfaced. I thought I had dealt with certain issues but evidently not. It's almost as if pieces of my heart were handed back to me.

I feel a lot more relaxed. I notice I don't really get upset at dumb drivers anymore...strange, I use to enjoy that. I notice that I let people talk and talk without the need to inject my point of view. The weird part is that I'm not disconnect when I do it either, I'm there with the person. I just listen.

I can feel this year will bring big changes... I am curious as to what will happen. I'm planning on going to school but I'm still not sure if I'm going to Fontbonne or UMSL. I thought USML would be cheaper but I was wrong. After you add up all the extra 'fees' UMSL is almost the same price as Fontbonne. It's unreal!

A magical fairy came into my life. An unexpected fairy brought me a piece of my heart that I had left behing? Or was it kept from me? Either way I feel a great peace was bestowed upon me and has graced me with its presence.

I think/feel that all the 'pieces' are coming back to me and everything is becoming whole again. I'm not sure what that means. I guess we'll see.

me latest henna.

2009-12-15T23:03:00.001-06:00

death...

2009-12-10T16:40:00.001-06:00

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="420" caption="Native American funeral"][/caption]

My friend's grand mother died yesterday so I called her in Guadeloupe. We had a great chat. She said that granma' was 92 and was tired of not being able to move and do thing on her own. She had to have people bathing and changing her. She just decided to stop eating until she died. She died in a hospital bed.

So I told my friend that I would probably do the same thing were it me in that position but, I told her, if she's around, to make sure not to leave me in the hospital. I want to die looking at the sunset over the ocean.

My show

2009-12-06T20:01:00.001-06:00

Ok so, only 3 of my peeps showed up at my show hahaha. Niiiiiice.

[caption id="attachment_599" align="alignleft" width="323" caption="jeanjoel"][/caption]

I change my room around

2009-12-03T19:44:00.001-06:00

I changed my room around and I feel a little better. I still have some feelings of anger and RAGE popping up from time to time.

I cleaned my room, it's more open now. I had to put my foam on the floor because sleeping on the futon was increasing my back pain. I'll figure my 'office' tomorrow.

Saturday is my opening. I think it'll be fun! I wonder who will show up...

I also braided my hair...it's getting really long.

I'm sipping a glass of white wine. I haven't had wine in over 2 weeks.

my little heart...

2009-12-02T14:38:00.001-06:00

I was walking through the park today. The air was cold, not too cold. There was stillness within and without. Upon a path I saw a small tree. It had lost all it's plumage, all but a few and that's when I saw it. It was my little heart. It was perched on the highest branch, looking down at me...dancing in the cold wind. It was unguarded, unprotected, naked for all to see...

[caption id="attachment_588" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="my heart"][/caption]

I see the moon

2009-12-02T05:58:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_584" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="moon"][/caption]

The view of the moon from my bed.

Rage!

2009-12-01T21:34:00.001-06:00

So after my freaky dream, I laid down to sleep some more. I went through my morning thing; hot water, shower, asanas, meditation.

I woke up at 9 in a foul mood. I'm angry, angry, angry. I have rage inside. I can't believe how much. I really feel like a fool even though I know that no time was wasted...

In a lighter note, David made me realize that I do have options with school. Fontbonne was holding my transcripts against their will because I didn't pay some parking ticket. Anyway, I've paid the $175 and now my transcripts are free! Since I'm only going to take liberal arts classes, I might as well take them at UMSL. I think it's cheaper there. We'll see. I've sent my transcripts from both institutions to UMSL and I've applied, so the ball is in their court.

I'm still angry. I don't know if I actually have this anger inside or it's because I woke up 'wrong' lol. It happens to me sometimes when I take an after noon nap.

really freaky dream

2009-12-01T03:33:00.001-06:00

All I remember is that we ( my mom, my cousin Dimitri, his mom(?) I think, and some other people) are walking. We have to get to this place. At one point Dimitri's mother (but it wasn't his mother, it was a much older woman) somehow was in this well. My mom leans over to help. The next scene is that we're approaching my grand parent's (who are dead in real life) house when I'm wondering where is my mom. They tell me that she fell into the hole. I felt sick as I tried to wrap my head around this idea. We (Dimitri and I) end up at my grand parent's house when we hear them coming. My grand father, Edmond, meets us and embraces Dimitri first. He always liked him best. I notice as I hug him that Edmond is much taller and more built than he was in life. He looks good, happy and full of life. My grand mother, Merita, is behind him. She looks great too. In life, when she died, her mind was completely gone and was hunched over like Casimodo. Here, she was walking straight and her mind was clear. She was remembering and identifying stuff as if to show us how well she was. They said that it was due to some new medication she was taking. As we're about to sit at a table, I realize that I have to 'help' my mom. I can't just sit there. I must call the police or better yet the firemen. They need to go down that well, that very deep well, to recover her body. I don't even know if she's dead. Oh god, what if she's not dead. I'm ill just thinking about what she must have felt when she fell. I start panicking. I share this with the others and I say that either way there needs to be a resolution. What do I do with her home and legal life. There needs to be an official document or something. At this point Merita agrees with what happened. "yes, she fell into the book". What? No, she fell into the hole. I'm thinking Merita is loosing her head again but she insist that she fell into the book, just like Alice in Wonderland.

So, it's 3:29am and I'm awake. I had to write this vivid and weird dream.

I know that Merita is my great sub conscious and Edmond is my super conscious; that my mom is my sub conscious and that death means change. I'm not sure about the long black hole of a well. I guess part of me died in that hole...

The other four spirits...

2009-11-30T14:44:00.001-06:00

These are my little boxes. They measure 8 by 8 by 3 inches. They are for sale ($60 each) and will be showed at AkaChique gallery in Crestwood mall for 1 month. The opening is Saturday 5th from 5pm 'till 9pm.

[caption id="attachment_561" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="spirit 4 $60"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_562" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="spirit 3 $60"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_563" align="aligncenter" width="294" caption="spirit 2 $60"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_564" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="spirit 1 $60"][/caption]

4 some!

2009-11-29T22:17:00.001-06:00

So I'm done with the paintings for tomorrow. I'm showing you 4 of 8.

Enjoy! These are for sale ($120) and will be showed at AkaChique gallery for one month. The opening is this Saturday Nov. 5th from 5pm until 9pm. See you there!

[caption id="attachment_548" align="aligncenter" width="294" caption="sacred ritual $120"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_549" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="full sail $120"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_550" align="aligncenter" width="297" caption="twin towers $120"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_551" align="aligncenter" width="289" caption="beyond green $120"][/caption]

4 paintings

2009-11-29T22:04:00.001-06:00

Ok, so here are 4 of the paintings I'm bringing to the gallery tomorrow. I tried to have less 'bright' colors..lol. I'm trying to make it more 'earthy'. I guess that's as earth as I get. :D

[caption id="attachment_542" align="alignleft" width="294" caption="acrylic on canvas"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_543" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="acrylic on canvas"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_545" align="alignleft" width="297" caption="acrylic on canvas"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_546" align="alignleft" width="289" caption="acrylic on canvas"][/caption]

no more piercing.

2009-11-28T16:53:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I removed my Angel piercing today...actually just now. I think I'm done with that. I like it better.

Here's how I look:

[caption id="attachment_520" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="me without my piercing"][/caption]

nude figure

2009-11-27T21:05:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_517" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="nude figure"][/caption]

Ok, this is the 3rd of my charcoal drawings. I guess I have to start on my acrylics for my show that's in 3 days. lol.

By the way, I love love love drawing the figure. I think I could do the figure in charcoal all day long and everyday.

Anyway, I doubt anyone looks at this blog and if they do never leave a message...how rude! lol

native american child

2009-11-27T11:22:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_476" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="native american child"][/caption]

Ok, so I'm on a roll, the next one should be a body...

Hum....this is for a Catholic school so...I don't know how sexy I can make the pose... I guess we'll find out hehe.

ryan portrait

2009-11-26T06:33:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_470" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="ryan"][/caption]

This is my latest work. It's charcoal on mylar. It about 16 inches across and 24 down. I really like this piece and I intend to enter it in a juried show at Fontbonne. I hope I win because the first prize is $1000, second $500 and third $250.

So today, I feel much better...It comes in waves but what a difference a day makes.

l i f e i s g o o d

J G D

I have to move on...

2009-11-25T21:52:00.001-06:00

This is hard...I've been here before...sort of.

A clean break is all I need. Run, run, don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of salt, frozen in time, frozen in pain.

My heart is agitated in fear, in pain waiting for the final blow, the final crush.

I believe did the right thing. It an endless vortex...the black hole...my love.

I'm too weak to face it all. I can't sit on the sidelines anymore. I wish I could, I wish I could be there for you. In a way I'am...

I can only loose so many feathers...before I can't fly anymore, and fly I must.

I will soar high up in the heavenly skies, I will think of you when I'm well.

I will fly in search for just a moment, a place of ease where I can rebuild and be reborn.

Out of my ashes I will feel again, trust again, love again.

So long my love...

I truly love you.

J.

Thanksgiving.Meditation...again

2009-11-25T16:53:00.001-06:00

So I started meditating again... I can't believe I ever stopped.

[caption id="attachment_443" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="meditating"][/caption]

I f e e l s o g o o d . . .

I've also changed my diet again. I'm avoiding sugar, wheat, fried stuff and alcohol however I will make an exception for Thanksgiving.

I'm invited at 4 different places. I think I can only do 2 of them.

So I'm thankful to have this beautiful healthy body, my mom, nomique, the boys, Art, my cats, Maharishi, TM, yummy food, beautiful transcending music, my feelings, my mind, close friends, earth and you.

Mapping what I want.

2009-11-24T13:51:00.001-06:00

I can't believe I'm doing this. Actually I've already wrote out the list.

Here are the categories of my life list, hehehe, Home, Mate, Career, Health. All I need now is to get some photos. I'm thinking about making a poster out of it. I'm so unfocused that if I don't do that, I'd probably float until I die. My cousin calls me 'the jellyfish'...

Under home I have the following:

highrise loft

bright

ocean or lake view

art studio

Under Mate:

hippie style

healthy

soft

playful

cheerful

loving

centered

stable

beautiful

Career:

college/university teacher

$4000 per month

east or west coast and maybe chicago

urban

Health:

yoga

T.M.

balanced

light workout

Any thoughts? Anyone?

Yikes, I have to study!

2009-11-18T13:51:00.001-06:00

What did I get myself into? lol
I have to take a bunch of none art classes :((
Ok, I just have to suck it up, bite down and finish this damn thing. hehehe.

Back to school

2009-11-16T17:17:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I'm going back to school. I'm going to Fontbonne.
I've decided to finally finish my degrees. I'll get a BFA and then an MFA.
After I've completed my studies I will look to teach in a University.
The plan is to do that for 20 years and then retire.

By the way, here's one of my latest henna design...Enjoy!

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="one of my latest and favorite designs"][/caption]

Playing video games!

2009-10-18T14:39:00.001-06:00

So I'm playing Fallout 3, it's a really cool game and yes, I'm a video game geek. It reminds me a bit of Bioshock, another really really cool game. I can't wait for Bioshock 2 to come out. I'm also waiting for Mass Effect 2, the first one was awesome!

I'm looking for a mate for the Fall and Winter season.

2009-10-14T17:18:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_366" align="alignleft" width="264" caption="me"][/caption]

One of my henna muse

2009-10-14T05:07:00.001-06:00

[caption id="attachment_360" align="alignleft" width="293" caption="henna on The Beautiful."][/caption]

This is a sample of my henna work. I love to do it all over the body

Albuquerque

2009-10-13T16:10:00.000-06:00

My show in Carlsbad!!!

2009-10-13T13:26:00.001-06:00

I guess I have to back up a little. It's been a while since I've posted anything here.
I went to Carlsbad California to an artfair. I really enjoyed myself and met some really cool people. If I hadn't done so many drugs when I was younger I'd remember their names. I do however remember Judy Jewel. I really liked her work.
Ok, so here are some pics of my time there.

[caption id="attachment_228" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="My work and I"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_227" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="My little boxes"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_229" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="A day at the fair"][/caption]

fall 2009

2009-10-12T16:30:00.001-06:00

so I decided to give worldpress a try. I don't think that blogger is bad but I just like to change things once in a while :).

I'm back in The Lou and for the first time, I'm really happy about that.

The Fall season is upon us and it just happens to be my favorite season. I think I'll need to find me a lover for the cold season.
Wouldn't it be cool to find a lover for just the seasons? Almost like a lease with option to renew...hum, I think I'm on to something. It would take a whole lot of imaginary pressure off.

Carlsbad!

2009-07-30T08:33:00.001-06:00

So I've been accepted in the Carlsbad art fair. Yaaay! I'll be in September. I guess now I have to buy my ticket, make a hotel reservation and rent a car. OOoo, I also have paint the pieces for show.

Albuquerque revisited

2009-07-29T14:23:00.001-06:00

So here I am again in Albuquerque. it's great to see Nomique again. I'll be here for a week. I'll get to paint as well for my possible art fair in Carlsbad.

Love

2009-06-28T08:16:00.002-06:00

I had a nice dream last night.

I was at this big fancy party with rich guests. There was a big pool in the middle of the area and the guests where mingling when my (live) mom arrived with my (death) step father. They walked up to the hot tub. I looked down at the tub and I thought it looked like a giant washing machine. My parents went in. My mom rested on Alain and he held her and kisses her neck with so much love that I felt it. I was looking down at them and as I felt the love emanating from them, I thought: "Every child should see and feel this from their parents, this way they would know what to look for in life.".

Breakfast...no...dinner in Ottawa

2009-06-26T17:25:00.000-06:00

So the little family left and here I am alone in this big big house. We bought all the canvasses, all 12 of them. I think I will start paingting on Monday, if I can wait that long :).
I have 14 days to create 12 paintings...I think I can do it! The wonderful thing is that my whole show is bought.

This is a photo of my dinner. It's a bowl of organic peaches, kiwis, banana, cereals and soy milk with no sugar added.

I no longer eat sugar, wheat, dairy, fried foods nor do I drink alcohol. Of course I make some exceptions to the rule.
I've decided to stay away from any foods that doesn't have the organic seal of approaval. I can no longer trust the food industry to have my health in mind. Their only concern is the bottom line, money.

I read an interesting article on 7 things you can do to prevent most cancers.

So I'm so confused.

2009-05-29T22:09:00.001-06:00

I think it's more confusing because I made the mistake of thinking that I would never be confused like that again, hehehe.
I feel so weird and lost, yes lost and scared.
I feel my life has been flipped upside down yet nothing has changed...weird.
The change must be in me. It's stemming out of me. Maybe that's why it's so scary. If it was coming from the outside, I could hide within me. Where would I hide now, LOL. I have nowhere to go, hehe.

O Canada

2009-05-29T17:00:00.002-06:00

So here I am once again in Ottawa.
This time around I went through Montreal and I have to say it was a much better experience with the custom agents.

I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. I feel like I'm at a crossroad, a fork. I'm not sure which way to go. I feel a little weak and vulnerable because I feel lost. I'm not sure of myself anymore.
I haven't felt this in sooooo long. I think I like it. I'm usually my best when I'm challenged. Either way, I am learning alot about me.

The less you know, the more you are.

2009-04-12T05:22:00.001-06:00

My little walk today...

2009-04-05T14:55:00.000-06:00

My car doesn't work so I decided to walk through the park to get some food.
It was a nice walk. On the way, I took some pics of the little things I saw.

Soooo...

2009-03-24T21:54:00.000-06:00

Sooo, there is soo much smog here I woike up coughing this morning.
I really like Santa Monica. We went to Venice Beach today, now there's a pile of freaks for ya, hehehe.
I liked it though. I lot of people everywhere.
That beach is soooooooo long and there are many magical places to hang out and watch the sunset.
The beach is so long you could walk from Santa Monica to Venice beach.
Another thing, NOBODY respects the speed limit, hahaha.
that's hillarious. The limit is 55 and everyone is doing 90!
Today we went to Laguna beach, Laguna Niguel, Seal beach, San Clemente.
We had breakfast at Seal beach. It's a very cute sleepy town.
I have to say that I haven't see one black person in either Seal beach nor San Clemente. That was weird...almost in a Disney world kinda way.

San Clemente

2009-03-24T21:37:00.000-06:00

Ramdom

2009-03-24T21:35:00.000-06:00

Laguna Beach

2009-03-24T21:33:00.000-06:00

Laguna Beach

2009-03-24T21:31:00.000-06:00

Breakfast

2009-03-24T21:27:00.000-06:00

Strawberry and Nutella crepe!

Good morning!

2009-03-24T21:26:00.000-06:00

That's me this morning at Seal Beach

Sta Monica Peer

2009-03-23T23:40:00.000-06:00

Sta Monica sunset

2009-03-23T23:36:00.000-06:00

Ste Monica and I

2009-03-23T23:34:00.000-06:00

I look like a queen on one of those pic, hahaha.

I love the light

2009-03-23T23:33:00.000-06:00

Santa Monica

2009-03-23T23:32:00.000-06:00

Aaaaah!

Long Beach

2009-03-23T23:30:00.000-06:00

So we arrived in LAX today and found our way to Long Beach.
Long Beach is really nice but Santa Monica is awesome!
I like the architecture here.
There's a great variety of people.
It's also deceptively cold... : ))

More tent rocks 2

2009-03-21T19:59:00.000-06:00

More tent

2009-03-21T19:45:00.000-06:00

Ok, so today we went back to tent rocks and this time we went up to the top!

Nomique and I at Tent rocks

2009-03-19T09:36:00.000-06:00

Tent Rocks is such a beautiful and peaceful place.
I wish I could live there.
We went there yesterday but got there too late so we didn't get to go to the top.
We'll try to go back tomorrow maybe.
The stillness of Nature there is calming and soothing like the smoothness of the rocks.
I guess one becomes what he sees.
I felt like those rocks, flowing and smooth.

Tent rocks

2009-03-19T09:30:00.000-06:00

Tent rocks

2009-03-19T09:26:00.000-06:00

Tent rocks and me

2009-03-19T09:24:00.000-06:00

Tent Rocks

2009-03-19T09:23:00.000-06:00

Tent Rocks

2009-03-19T09:22:00.000-06:00

Tent Rocks

2009-03-19T09:18:00.000-06:00